Silence and Longing

So as I told you all, I went on a Silent Retreat this past weekend. Here are some pictures if you want to check out the place where we stayed. It's called the Avila Retreat Center and its in Durham, NC. As you will notice in my pictures, I have a picture of a clown playing the guitar. I have to admit, I love this picture! Most people are scared of clowns, I guess because of all the make up - you never really know what they look like and they're always smiling - that's a little freaky! The thing I've been learning lately is that I'm very much like a clown and only a few people really know what I look like without any "make-up" on. So, like a clown, I get up and put on my "costume," then I go and entertain people. Only those who stick around long enough will know the real me.
The reason I'm writing all this is because I really want to be known completely. I want to be loved without the make-up and costume, I want the freedom to walk around in my "normal" clothes, with my "normal" face. That retreat really opened my eyes to realize that my Creator loves me for who I am, without the dressing up. I've also been noticing that men that are married are so confident, they don't really try to impress you, they just are who they are. I don't know if any of you have ever noticed that, but they have such freedom and, on my end, I feel free around them because I know that they're married, so I don't have to impress them either! I want to experince that, I want that freedom - that confidence - to be who I have been called to be and be free - because I'm taken, and I don't have to impress anyone, I've already been wooed and won!
"For your Maker is your Husband,the Lord of hosts is His name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called." Isaiah 54:5

It's been too long!

I has been WAY too long since my first blog. I want to apologize for the delay, and I also want to give you a quick update from the last few months.

November: Nothing too exciting. I was still living with Matt and Layna and working at Gray's College Bookstore, as I raised support. One thing that happened during the month of November was that the Lord began to make clear His desire for me to move to Raleigh, which He confirmed over Thanksgiving break. Family Pictures.

December: I began to pack up my things to move, which didn't take long since I had just moved in October. The reason I moved was to be able to really concentrate on raising support for Virginia. I moved to Raleigh on the 18th and left again on the 27th. I spent Christmas with my parents and three of my brothers. Over the New Year I went to Atlanta for the 2005 Atlanta New Year's Conference. It was a great time to be around a lot of great people, great speakers and great worship. I was reminded of the Lord's compassion for us, and was challenged to be more like Him in that area. It was an incredible time of renewal and joy for me. Christmas and Atlanta

January: As soon as I got back to Charlotte, the Campus Outreach Virginia Expansion team had a retreat. We did a lot of logistical things, but it was a great time of perspective building. We also found out that we will be going to Virginia Tech and Radford University and that we will live as a community. I have to admit, one of the most exciting news for me was hearing that we would all live as a community, I love the idea of having such intimacy with my team-mates! As we transition to a new city, new state and new jobs, we are going to desperately need the body of Christ! After the retreat I return to Raleigh and kicked it up a notch. I began going to Bible Studies and different Churches trying to meet as many people as possible. I also had friends come to visit me - Friends and Fondue Lastly, I traveled to Charlotte last weekend (the weekend of the 27th) to see the new member of our team - Tobias Robert Bradner. Tobias was born to Matt and Julia Bradner on the 26th of January at 10:33pm. He weighed 8lbs. 11oz. and was so cute. They are all doing well and I had a great time visiting them. Tobias Robert Bradner

February: This coming weekend I am going on a "Silent Retreat" along with all the other Campus Outreach Women. We are going to a retreat center in Durham, NC called the "Avila Retreat Center." I will let you know how it goes! Besides that, I am 32% done with Raising Support and 68% still trusting God. I have enjoyed this time of support raising a lot and look forward to the ways in which He will continue to make me more like Him!